


A Story of Two People

by Iliketalkingtoyou



Series: Apocryphal Story [1]
Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Friends With Benefits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 03:12:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12974604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iliketalkingtoyou/pseuds/Iliketalkingtoyou
Summary: A friends with benefits tale





	A Story of Two People

Almost everything about the situation was perfect. Almost everything. This part, though, he liked the least. There was nothing wrong with this part – it was still a far more enticing way to spend his evenings than at home in his boxers watching shit television – yet there was a shift in the atmosphere that unnerved him. He couldn’t quite name this feeling and, despite what others would argue, no, it was not regret. Finn never regretted the nights spent with her.

She had no idea, of course, just how uncomfortable he was during this part of the night. Although she didn’t seem as if she particularly enjoyed this either. She usually fell asleep as soon as she could, whether that entailed rushing out of his bed or turning away from him in her own, he can always assume she’s soundly asleep within half an hour, nuzzled away in her cocoon of quilts next to him.

Her peaceful slumber wasn’t what caused his skin to crawl. On the contrary, he took much pride in the ability to make her so content she was knocked out for hours. Don’t think he hadn’t noticed that gender stereotypes were completely reversed in their arrangement; she dreamed soundly yet he could never quite bring himself to relax enough to sleep after sex.

It wasn’t even the way she stole all the blankets from him, enveloping herself within her own sheets, leaving him most of the bed but no way of touching her. Perhaps this unease was more of a cliff’s edge he was dangerously tipping over, and unfortunately this time in the evening was the moment he could see just how precarious this entire situation was, with the sharks, rocks and crashing water waiting below.

Don’t forget the crushing sense of uselessness that also bugged him around this time. Not that it was her fault. Their relationship rules were set in stone, he had agreed to them fully, willingly even. No, this wasn’t her doing. He made himself feel useless because he had gotten himself accustomed to having to hold a girl afterwards…and then sneaking off out of the apartment. She never asked this of him, it had never came up in conversation but on both sides of the relationship there was clearly a line, and spooning was certainly passed this line.

Although particulars were never spoken of, there were general guidelines that were not to be crossed. Unspoken hidden meanings to certain phrases such as “you’re up early tomorrow for work, don’t want you to miss out on sleep.” Completely off limits. Or “there’s a new restaurant opened up…” or the fucking dreaded, “can you stay?”

They had other ways to show affection to each other, outside of their adventures in the bedroom. They were extremely good friends after all. And Finn was desperately grateful for this – he had never met anyone who could make him feel what Rae could make him feel and he wasn’t about to lose that.

Friends and Lovers. From the get go, they were not one or the other, they were both. Friends who had sex. Friends who had great sex. Friends who had fucking brilliant sex. It hadn’t started out by accident, there was no sexual tension leading up to a kiss then suddenly they were both naked and had to set boundaries. It once hadn’t existed and then it had. But it was purposeful. So very, very purposeful.

Always friends. Always lovers.

Two very different relationships existing simultaneously, running parallel together but never intertwining. There was always the chance something could happen that would bring everything they had built into ruins. But there was a system set, ‘Best Friend Rae’ leaves and is replaced with ‘Sex Rae’ when she takes her top off and when ‘Sex Rae’ finishes, she curls into a ball and she is ‘Best Friend Rae’ once again. And friends don’t spoon. They might stay and make breakfast for their mate who can’t cook for shit because she never had to learn, but they definitely don’t spoon.

After their first time, he had worried his fingernails down, fretting over how she would treat him differently. Had she reacted any other way than she did, he would not be here in her bed tonight.

She had found him curled on the couch the morning after, the leather was stuck to his bare top half – he had to peel himself away painstakingly slowly to sit up. At the time, he hadn’t known if it had been sleeping on the couch that had given him that dead leg or whether it was what Rae had had him doing, now of course, he knew.

Sheepishly he had taken a cup of tea from her, and asked, “I guess, I fell asleep straight after…you just went to your room?” In retrospect it was a dumb question. If he had known what he knows now, no way would he have asked such a ridiculous thing.

Rae’d flicked her brown hair behind her shoulder and laughed loudly, “Well, there was hardly enough room left here, and you soiled the one blanket so…”

She had thrown that blanket out after their first night together. Exactly what they had done to that blanket still makes him laugh with pride and arousal.

It was settled from that day on. They had one relationship for day and another at night. And just one unbreakable rule: do not speak of one whilst experiencing the other. Of course the rule was never spoken of. Vague understandings where put in place and it carried on.

They could go meet up with the rest of the gang at the pub (they might even hold hands or flirt while they were there) but they will go home separately and wait until two in the morning when one or other texts to check which flat they will be staying the night in.

Tonight had been no different. The gang had gathered to celebrate Archie’s promotion at work; Rae and Finn had sat together, bought each other drinks and traced lines on the other’s thigh, messages only understandable to each other.

Finn had gone home earlier than she, hauling a drunk Chop into the car who had been complaining that women were daunted by him because his penis was so big. Lovely stuff. She had called around 2 hours later, asking if ‘Finnley’ wanted a late night snack. He had materialised in her doorway precisely 33 minutes later. And well, they’d had a pretty good night.

Until this part. Fuck, he really hated this part.

Rolling his eyes he heaves himself up, nicotine cravings were shooting through him anyway. On the way to the living room, he picks his jeans up from the hallway floor. What seems like hours ago Rae had taken them off with her teeth, slowly and seductively, winking as she had done it. His smirk from that moment once again touches his lips.

Over the two years they had spent together, her apartment hadn’t changed. Extra pieces of furniture had entangled themselves among the necessities; some new photos of the gang, or of her family would surface every birthday or Christmas. A new lamp here or there. But nothing drastic enough to make him question whether she was changing.

He pops open the window furthest from the bedroom and his exhale of smoke follows the heated apartment air outside.

Her window looks onto the street outside. London isn’t as attractive as the films make it out to be. The tourist places are clean, this flat is clean, but outside and away from here, it’s a fucking dump. Straight across from him is another block of flats, almost identical to this one. There must be people inside there, living their own lives. Experiencing their own worlds. None of them would go through what he goes through. The sensational bliss followed by slight disappointment and guilt, to the eventual great relief where she wakes up and is the same friend she always is.

Which was why this in-between, waiting part was always so shit.

He could go back into bed with her. She probably wouldn’t be too fussed, she might be a little unsettled in the morning but she would move on quickly, understanding that there was no excess of feelings on his behalf, only ever lust. And then they would slide back into the friend relationship once again and it would be all honky dory.

The ironic thing was that they had shared a bed before as friends. Not after having sex, just two friends who had stayed at another friend’s house and shared a bed. It had been warm, and embracing. They had even snuggled a little, her hair pressed up just under his nostrils. She had smelt the way she always did, a slight hint of apples, but with the tainting of sweat and sex absent, she seemed a lot more vulnerable.

Granted they had both been out of their faces but it had happened and there was no escaping that.

Nothing had changed after it though. Again, after they woke, she had laughed, commented on how hungover they both were and it was forgotten with the flick of her fingers running threw her softening curls.

Finn chucked the cigarette onto the street below and shut the window as quietly as he could before the cool air brought the entire room temperature down. Rae’s flat was funny like that. One minute it was swelteringly hot, with unbearable heat and intensity. The next, ice cold, forcing him to wrap up to protect himself.

A bit like Rae really.

“Fancy a cuppa?”

To say her voice came as a surprise, would be a pretty big understatement. “You’re up?” He manages to stammer out as a reply. He’s never been as collected as she is, and in complete contrast to her smug demeanor, his voice comes out high pitched and anxious.

She smirks, and tightens her silk dressing gown around her, “Yeah, well, some bugger left the window open for too long and now it’s like the fucking North Pole in ‘ere.”

He smiles bashfully at her, pulling at his left arm, “S’not my fault your heating is rubbish.”

She rolls her eyes and asks again if he wants a brew, this time he’s alert enough to nod and pad after her to the kitchen.

“My heating would be fine,” Rae continued, “if you weren’t constantly treating this flat like it’s your own. And for fucks sakes Finn-” she whips around to face him, brushing tendrils of hair in his face. More apples. “Stop throwing your cigarette buds into my neighbours bushes down there. She thinks I smoke like a train.”

“You sound like your mum.” Not his wisest move but it catches her off guard; and there’s nothing more satisfying than catching someone who’s always in control off guard.

She glares at him, before letting her smallest smile take over, “Watch it, Finnley…”

Smirking, she pops tea bags into the cups while he leans across the island, “What else am I supposed to do? Keep ‘em inside. You said they stink the place out.”

“You quit, is what you do!” She picks out a teaspoon and uses it to hit him on the nose.

They are both suddenly giggling like children hyper from sweets, and yeah…Its back to being the best relationship he’s ever had once more. The woes of the worst part of the night have vanished, the iron grip on his stomach has settled, and he has all the time in the world to marvel at this girl. And wind her up. “If I gave up smokin’, you wouldn’t have anything else to moan at me about though, would ya?”

Rae hums noncommittally, as she carefully stirs the milk into their mugs. He has his own mug here. “I’m sure I could find something.”


End file.
